Earlier this
week, I passed the 20 pound mark. Twenty pounds lost since surgery on December
19. It was a milestone that I was excited to reach. I am also wearing pants
that are two sizes smaller. Fortunately, I am able to go “shopping” in my
basement for smaller sized clothes right now, save for three pairs of dress pants
that I purchased “gently worn” from my sweet friend Janis. After I move through
one more size though, I will exhaust my basement inventory. Fortunately, the
lovely Janis has also connected me to some clothing resale websites so I can sell
my fat clothes and purchase smaller clothing at inexpensive prices until I
reach my goal weight. Thanks Janis – you rock! Have you ever gone into your
closet and tried on clothes and come out crying…happy tears? I have. I put some
jeans on the other day and they were SLAMMIN’. For those of you who do not work
or live with teenagers, that means they looked really good. I wore those
bitches around the house all day!
Several people
have been asking me to blog but it’s difficult for me to just sit down and
write sometimes. The excitement leading up to the surgery and the immediacy of post-surgery
is over. Now I’m just living. This is my new normal. What do people possibly
want to know? So, I thought about the questions people ask me regularly…
“How do you feel?” Honestly, most of the time, I feel
great. The joint pain I experienced almost constantly before surgery is nearly
gone. I have had one migraine since surgery and I think it was related to
coming off the morphine. I have had two “regular” headaches and I treated them
with Tylenol. I can’t remember the last time I took Tylenol for a headache and
it worked. I do still get very tired in the evenings and it’s hard for me to
make plans to do anything after I’ve worked all day. I usually come home, put
on my jammies, have dinner, then relax with a book or the computer until about
8:30. I’m in bed between 9 and 9:30 most nights. It’s a struggle to stay awake
that long but I sleep really well. The doctor says this will go away in time. I
really want to start working out but I just don’t have the energy yet.
“What do you eat?” My very small meals still consist
mainly of protein. My nutrition goals for each day are to get 60 grams of
protein, 1000 calories, and 64 ounces of water. I try to limit my carb, fat,
and sugar intake as much as possible. My portion sizes are very small. I can
only consume about a half cup of food at one sitting; eventually that should
increase to about one cup. I have breakfast around 7am while driving to work - a
protein shake (see previous blog for specifics). I usually have lunch around
11am. This is sometimes just a Greek yogurt, maybe a few slices of lunchmeat,
or a half cup of chicken salad. Later in the afternoon, I will eat another
small meal or snack, probably a cheese stick or some peanut butter. When I get
home from work around 5, I make dinner. Some of my favorite dinner items are
turkey chili, turkey bacon, and meatballs. I try to include a vegetable at
dinner and I’m favoring green beans right now. In the late evening, I’ll have
another small snack, sometimes a protein bar or a scrambled egg. I drink two
bottles of water before lunch and two more between lunch and dinner. That’s my
64 ounces. Then I treat myself to a glass of iced tea when I get home. This is
my one “cheat.” The doctors recommend no caffeine because it can dehydrate you.
Since I’ve already had my 64 ounces of water for the day, I drink my one glass
of iced tea and then make sure to drink two more glasses of water in the
evening to make up for it. It’s a wonder I haven’t floated away yet.
“I can’t wait to see how you look.” Obviously this is not a question but a
statement I get A LOT from people who haven’t seen me since before December 19.
So, let me clarify…if you have known me at any time in the last 4 -5 years, you
have seen me at this weight. The smallest I have been in recent history was in
February, 2008 when I defended my dissertation for my Ph.D. then I started
gaining weight again. Am I excited about my weight loss and the way my appearance
is changing? Of course, but the change is not drastic and you will still
recognize me for some time.
Don’t get it
twisted… I didn’t have weight loss surgery solely to improve the way I look or
to try to catch a man. Clearly, I’m writing this because I’m getting that
message from people, right? So, let’s set the record straight.
I think I’m an
attractive person, despite my size. I have pretty eyes, a killer smile, and
kick-ass hair. Seriously, I have awesome hair and I’m a bit obsessed with it. I
have had people ask to take pictures of my nose so they can share it with the
plastic surgeons doing their nose jobs. I even have nice feet. I have never had
a problem getting a date – not any more so than a “regular” sized person – and I
do date attractive men.
There were two
primary reasons I chose to have this surgery:
1.
My
size was beginning to limit some of the things I enjoy doing, regular things
like going for a walk or riding a bike. It sucks to go on vacation and be miserable
because your feet, legs, and back hurt from walking and you can’t keep up with
the person with whom you are traveling. I didn’t want to give up quality of
life just so I could keep eating doughnuts.
2.
I
knew that if I continued to carry the excess weight, it was just a matter of
time before I began to develop health problems. Fat people like to tell
ourselves, “Yeah, I’m overweight but I’m still healthy.” LIAR. You are not!
What I learned while going through the surgical evaluation was that several
health problems were beginning to develop but they were not yet detectable via
typical tests that are run when you get your annual physical. I have gallstones
but have never had a gall bladder attack. I had seriously low levels of vitamin
B12 and vitamin D. I had the beginning stages of fatty liver disease. All of
these things could have turned into serious health concerns at any time if I
had not done something about my weight RIGHT NOW. Of course, issues involving
the heart and blood pressure, breathing and sleep apnea, diabetes, and other
things were also likely to develop. By having surgery and losing this weight,
all of the health issues I mentioned can now be avoided.
“Do you ever regret having the surgery?” Hell no. Hear me clearly…not for one
minute. I hug my surgeon every time I see him. The man is saving lives and I
love him for giving me this gift.
If you want to
know something specific about my new normal, just ask. If you would like to
learn about weight loss surgery, let me know. I’d love to talk to you about it.
