Throughout the
time leading up to the surgery, it was intriguing to hear people’s reactions.
Responses were largely positive and supportive and I am grateful for that. I’m
sure there were people who had negative opinions about my decision but they
chose to keep them to themselves and I am appreciative. There was, however, a
trend that I found noteworthy: the difference between the reactions by gender.
Women, for the
most part, were openly supportive. Whether I know them well or not, whether I
count them among my close friends and family or simply keep tabs via social
media, women came out and embraced me. They cheered me on Facebook. They
emailed, called, texted, sent cards. They became friends with each other in an
effort to support me. Their messages were public and empowering. They rallied
around me in a big, estrogen-powered, sisterly love fest. When it was time for
the “Last Chance to Dance” event – my last Saturday night out before the
surgery – many of them came out and shook their groove thangs. We hugged, and
acted silly, and took pictures, said “I love you’s”, and even cried a little. It.was.awesome.
Men, on the other
hand, were quieter in their support. Far fewer of them brought it up. My
closest “brothers” stood by my side. They private messaged me. They “liked” my
statuses. They said things like, “You know, I think you’re fine just the way
you are.” While their support was different, it was felt just as strongly. Even
they came out to Last Chance to Dance. They drank beer and took pictures and
held purses. It was awesome too.
Why the
difference? As women, we talk about our weight all the time. ALL.THE.TIME. We
do. It’s part of our culture. So, when I invited my girls to talk about it, it
was a natural thing to do. Poor men. All their lives they have been very
confused about how to talk to a woman about her weight. So here I was saying, “I’m
fat” and they were like, “No you’re not…wait, yes, you are…aw shit…” I’m sure
there were some men (and probably some women) who were thinking, “Yeah Kristie,
you do need to lose weight. It’s about time you did something about that” and
just didn’t want to be that blunt. It’s okay. I can take it.
I don’t have kids
but many of you do. What messages are you sending them about weight and body
image? What messages are we as a society sending them? Hmmm…deep thoughts on a
cold December day…
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